There's someone looking for you on Craigslist, in their Missed Connection personals...but if you are expecting a hook-up with a MILF, or hair challenged guy, you might be a little disappointed.

It all started out so promising, maybe even a little kinky:

"You were in your little SUV, the SUV you must have bought so you could tackle all those HUGE snow covered mountains in Montclair, NJ.  My boyfriend and I were behind you".

But it wasn't a threesome Cupid calling:

"But in case you didn't hear me through our two cars, I wanted you to know what I said: there is no room for us to back up, you crazy stupid bitch".

Ouch!

January 26, 2006 in SUV-bashing | Permalink | Comments (23)

Not only did SUV's take a lashing at last night's Montclair Town Council meeting (during a public discussion of new vehicles the town is buying), but it turns out the things are *gasp* dangerous -- and not just to other drivers. New federal tests found that one-third of 2004 model SUV's have a tendency to roll over.

Gloria Clark of 13 Amelia Street berated the township for buying $30,000 SUV's when it could buy other cars cheaper. "I see no reason to have these big SUV's," she said. Later, she told the Barista, "They're nothing but gas guzzlers. Every time, you look [in one of the town parking lots], there's a new SUV."

Mayor Remsen assured her that none of the vehicles in that particular appropriation were SUV's; they were discussing snow plows at the time. But there was a resolution, a little later in the meeting, to buy a GMC 4WD Yukon XL. That car carries a sticker price of $42,000. Mayor Remsen could not be reached for comment.

In addition to Clark, the Town Council last night faced a bunch of people from NJ Citizen Action, all wearing tennis-ball yellow stickers bearing their organization's name, asking the town to stop banking at Hudson United Bank, because it makes very few loans in the township.

And the council heard stern talk on the revaluation issue. The Star-Ledger last month claiming that many black neighborhoods in north Jersey are paying proportionately higher property taxes.

George Ryder, representing the Infield Ave. Block Association, said it is looking into putting its property taxes into an escrow account until the issue is resolved and chided the council for worrying about political considerations. Later, he told Barista that block associations throughout the South End are planning to organize on the issue.

Mayor Remsen assured Ryder that the council is making the tax issue a "top priority." The revaluation process, he added, will probably cost the town about $1 million.

August 11, 2004 in SUV-bashing | Permalink | Comments (6)

Starting today, you can get a $250 ticket and one motor vehicle point for talking on your cell phone while driving in New Jersey.

Ok, that takes care of half the problem. So when are they going to ban SUV's?

July 1, 2004 in Brand New, SUV-bashing | Permalink | Comments (1)

It's that season: time for all the end-of-year banquets and awards ceremonies. Tonight, over at the Valley Regency in Clifton, the best and the brightest of Glen Ridge High School -- grade-wise, anyway -- were feted by the Rotarians at the 46th Annual Recognition Dinner for High Honor Students of Glen Ridge High School.

For reasons we don't quite understand, parents are invited to these events but then not allowed to sit with their kids. For the Barista, walking into that great big banquet hall induced acid flashbacks painful memories of standing in the school lunchroom, holding a tray and looking desperately around for somewhere to sit. We mastered the challenge with acceptable alacrity, and even managed to have a pleasant evening of it.

The Barista wasn't going to write about this event at all, but then the dinner speaker, Dr. Tom Benedictsson, who teaches something or other humanities-related at Montclair State, lobbed some great big softballs at us. Since we weren't taking notes, we have to paraphrase, but our dinner companions helped us reconstruct Dr. Benedictsson's remarks.

In our materialistic society, he said, honor may be measured by what you purchase. And it's more honorable to buy a car that gets 40 miles to the gallon than one that gets only 17 miles to the gallon -- even if you can afford the extra $25 to fill up your tank. Just to make sure everybody got the point, he added that honor is also picking the college you really fit into, rather than one whose decal would look good on your SUV as you cruise down Ridgewood Ave. polluting the air and contributing to global warming.

We half-expected Dr. Benedictsson to complain that the dinner was held a whopping 7.65 miles away from the center of town, and chide us for not all carpooling.

Eyebrows were raised. Then the students were called up one by one to thunderous applause, Atkins-busting apple-tart-a-la-mode was served, everybody offered congratulations to everybody else for having such bright children and vehicles both honorable and less so made a left onto Valley and returned home.

June 1, 2004 in SUV-bashing | Permalink | Comments (1)