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October  11

You Aren't Getting Older, You're Getting Better and Other Myths

Summer of 2005 began by watching the firstborn graduate from high school and ended by shipping him off to college. In between, for various reasons,  there was no dating.

So predictably, like the change of season, I've returned for another round.

While on dating hiatus, and for reasons completely unknown to me, my co-workers began calling me Mrs. Robinson. Just to be clear, I have not dated younger men. But if my recent dating trend continues, I may begin to channel the spirit of Anne Bancroft.

The joke goes...what do a doctor, a construction site manager and a computer systems analyst all have in common?

Nothing... except that on the dating website, they all posted pictures of themselves taken years ago. On one recent date, I didn't even recognize one of them until he walked up and introduced himself. His profile photo depicted a guy with a full head of black hair, when in fact, there was very little left on his head and what remained was a lighter shade of black, something more commonly known as...grey. Before all the follicly challenged get up in arms, let me state for the record I have nothing against bald guys... in fact, I kind of like men who purposely shave their heads. And many handsome men have grey hair -- George Clooney and Anderson Cooper for instance.

What I don't like is false adverstising. And there is a lot of it on the internet. One of my dates admitted he was several years older than his profile stated. When I asked him why he felt the need to fib, he said he didn't think there was much of a market for his age group, and he felt like he had to lie in order to get more online attention.

Let's face it folks, getting old kind of sucks. But if someone lies about their age, what else are they going to lie about?

At least Mrs. Robinson didn't lie about her age.

October 11, 2005 in Don't Ask: Dating in Baristaville | Permalink | Comments (13)

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July  24

A Lot Of Style, But No Dates...

Unlike my dating life, the rest of the dating world has gone into hyperdrive. Witness the new ABC dating program “Hooking Up


This 'almost reality' show follows a dozen single NYC women navigating the cyber dating universe. One has to wonder how an ad exec for Viagra (one of the women profiled) would ever have trouble finding a date, but there you are. Everyone has their own dating style. Busy, career types have something called speed dating, which has nothing to do with drugs. Rather, you meet 20 people in eight minutes and hope to score at least one phone number. Presumably, the second date lasts a bit longer.

Teenagers have a pack mentality and date in groups. Large groups. I think the last time my daughter went on a movie "date," she met nine other kids at the theater. I guess there is safety in numbers.

My dating style, however, is suffering. A recent spate of work and family commitments have left me little extra time for dating. And frankly, what I’d really like right now is People magazine, a bag of chips and a half hour to myself. But I guess I should take a look at this dating site -- a well meaning friend just emailed me. Just don’t tell ROC.

July 24, 2005 in Don't Ask: Dating in Baristaville | Permalink | Comments (25)

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July  17

Mom! What’s His Name is on the Phone!

Dont_askAs if being single and dating wasn't enough of a challenge, try being a single and dating parent. Even worse, try being a single & dating parent of a teenager.

There is nothing quite so humbling as getting ready for a date while The Teen observes. “Mom, where did you get that lipstick? It looks really ‘80s” or “Mom, those earrings make your earlobes look really long” or “Mom, those pants look a little small on you- maybe you should wear the ones with the elastic waist.”

This from someone who wears jeans with a half-inch long zipper.

What is truly weird is having your own child quiz you about what time they can expect you home. And then there is the big moment when they actually meet Mr. Potential. I had been dating “Ed” for a few weeks, and I invited him over for dinner. After he left, I asked The Teen what she thought. Well, he’s kinda quiet, she said.

Actually, she was dead on. I had been wondering why things weren’t quite clicking with “Ed”, even though he was incredibly active, fairly attractive and he seemed to like me. He WAS quiet. I’m a talker. I need someone who isn’t stuck for an answer after Hello. It took The Teen exactly one evening to figure him out.

Still, no matter what she says, I’m not getting rid of that 80’s lipstick. Everything comes back in style eventually.

July 17, 2005 in Don't Ask: Dating in Baristaville | Permalink | Comments (7)

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June  30

Three Strikes and You're Out...


In the world of dating, women of a “certain age” are faced with less than stellar prospects. Every available female over the age of 40 knows the three types of men:

  • The newly divorced male, who will only date 25-year-olds.
  • The still married male who is looking for a little fun, and will only date 25-year-olds.
  • And the male who has never had a meaningful relationship of any kind, who would date anyone.
    • If you are lucky enough to snag that rare guy who isn’t one of these types, hang onto him for dear life. Meanwhile, I’ve sent this link to all my single female friends so we can all feel a little bit better.

      June 30, 2005 in Don't Ask: Dating in Baristaville | Permalink | Comments (22)

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      June  16

      I Almost Got Lucky...

      Last week I almost got lucky! Twice!


      Some co-workers had informed me that Joe Smith, who works in another department, has the hots for me. Now, I barely know this guy, except to say it looks like he’s never missed a meal in his life.

      But hey, I’m not real picky these days.

      So I’ve got a mylar balloon on my desk, which is for a friend of mine who just became a new dad. Mr. Hot Stuff ambles over and gestures to the balloon and asks me if it’s my birthday. I glance up at him and point to “New Baby!” prominently plastered across the front of it. Oh! he says brightly, did you just have a baby? I stare at him - Yeah, sixteen years ago. Then he says, Well my wife and I had one just last month!    WHAT??!!!!!

      The next day I’m out in the front yard and my 68-year-old gardener shows up. He’s from the old country and likes to chat.

      --So, Miss, hows you love life??

      I tell him, not so good lately.

      --What? You a beeyootiful ladee- You wanna have lunch??

      I try not to stare at the hair sprouting from his ears, and politely decline murmuring something about not dating people who work for me.

      Like I said, I almost got lucky.

      June 16, 2005 in Don't Ask: Dating in Baristaville | Permalink | Comments (12)

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      June   9

      Not Quite 'Sex & the City'

      Dont_ask A little over a year ago, yours truly found herself newly single after a long-term relationship went south.  To say things have changed in the world of dating is putting it mildly. These days, everyone is "internet dating." This is a chance to get your picture in a place where millions of eligible guys can see you and decide you're the woman of their dreams. At least this is how it's supposed to work.

      I signed up for something called eHarmony because a friend of mine raved about it. After killing an hour filling out the "personality profile" ("The eHarmony Personality Profile begins the exciting journey toward finding your true love") you post the most flattering photo you can find, and pray you don't "match" with a serial killer.

      There weren't many "matches" left, after I had discarded Mr. Too Far Away, Mr. Too Old and Mr. Too Ugly, and I was a bit depressed. But then I remembered an internet date-from-hell story from a friend at work. She was barely five minutes into dinner with a very handsome investment banker, before he informed her that he "would require his wife to have six kids to help further the white race."  I kid you not.

      I did go out with a couple of men I met on eHarmony, but in the end, it wasn't harmonious and I bailed.

      But I'm not giving up. This past week I was thrilled to get a jury duty summons.  Another opportunity to meet Mr. Right!

      We hope Mr. Right isn't sitting behind the defense table, Pam. This is Pam's first column about the local dating scene.

      June 9, 2005 in Don't Ask: Dating in Baristaville | Permalink | Comments (31)

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