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March   3

How Baristaville Sees The End For Tony Soprano

Cart3583 It’s nine days before the final season of the Sopranos begins, and we already know how the series will end – or at least, the Baristaville version.  Last week, the Barista decided that the Soprano’s final season would probably end with Tony getting whacked. So we challenged readers to a plot thickening competition judged by none other than Soprano Sue: come up with with an ending for New Jersey’s favorite mobster. Congrats to badd patti for coming up with this:

…Carmela doing him in with a bullet, straight thru the heart. He falls into the pool and the final scene is him floating face down surrounded by the ducks and their ducklings.

So badd patti got the goods to create a Sopranos shrine (or sell on Ebay): a jar of Artie Bucco tomato sauce, an autographed photo of John Fiore (Gigi Cestone on The Sopranos and Lt. Profaci on Law&Order), an autographed postcard of Frank Vincent ( Phil Leotardo ), a Sopranos Cigar and baseball card.

March 3, 2006 in Bada Bing | Permalink


Congratulations to badd patti.

"Leave the gun. Take the ducklings."

(Memo to Properties Dept. I think it would be better if the gun Carmela uses is a 28-ga. Dick Cheney autograph model Perazzi shotgun. It's Italian, too.)

Posted by: Conan the Grammarian | Mar 3, 2006 10:56:46 AM

Way to go, Bad Patti!

Posted by: Miss Martta | Mar 3, 2006 10:59:44 AM

Congrats to the winner! :)
hehehe I knew Frank Vincent when he was selling ads... a looong time ago.

Posted by: JT | Mar 3, 2006 11:00:04 AM

Ohh I saw this ad the other day.

For sale 28-ga. Perazzi shotgun. Pulls to the right. Call xxx-xxxx ask for Dick

Posted by: JT | Mar 3, 2006 11:02:07 AM

JT - interested in where you might have seen that ad. I wrote about the exact same thing in an e-mail to a friend in Florida right after the incident. I guess great minds think along the same lines...

Posted by: Conan the Grammarian | Mar 3, 2006 11:30:32 AM

hehehe I also saw these Headlines from around the country.

* Kingsville Dispatch
"Sheriff Fines Cheney $100 For Only Wounding Lawyer"

* National Review Online
"Red States Poll Shows Cheney Shooting Was Justifiable"

* Dallas Morning News
"Shot Came From Grassy Knoll"

* Austin Statesman
"Cheney Says Victim's Quail Call Was Best He Ever Heard"

* Washington Post
"Cheney Prevents Hunting Party From Field Dressing Shooting Victim"

* NY Times
"No End to Questions in Cheney Hunting Accident. Did Whittington know too much?"

* The Nation
"Cheney Drove Shooting Victim to Hospital Tied to The Hood of His Car"

* San Antonio Express/News
"Sneaky Lawyer Tactics Don't Work On Cheney"

* Houston Chronicle
"Personal Injury Lawyers Hold Candlelight Vigil Outside Cheney Victim Hospital"

* Wyoming Tribune Eagle
"Cheney Friends Decline Fall Duck Hunting Invitation"

* La Raza
"Cheney Shooting Victim Gets Unfair Emergency Room Priority Over Illegal Aliens With Chronic Drug Problems."

* Vegan News
"Cheney Shooting Victim Converts To Vegetarian In Hospital"

Posted by: JT | Mar 3, 2006 11:35:45 AM

I once crossed paths with Phil Leotardo as he and his (wife?) were pulling their Benz into a "handicapped" marked parking spot over at a local supermarket (neither one looked overtly disabled to me, btw). Never will forget that "Soprano" style look that he shot back at me.....

Posted by: witness protection seeker | Mar 3, 2006 12:46:41 PM

...Oops I meant Frank Vincent who PLAYS Phil Leotardo - Guess I'm still a bit rattled -fuggedabudit.

Posted by: witness protection seeker | Mar 3, 2006 12:50:01 PM

He may not be handicapped, but he is a carrier.

Posted by: Conan the Grammarian | Mar 3, 2006 12:56:32 PM

Just wondering on what criteria Sue based her choice? The most feasible, I presume.

At any rate...congrats Pat!!

Posted by: Surrounded | Mar 3, 2006 1:45:56 PM

I'm ratting you out to Carmella Bad Patti-congrat's

Posted by: cstarling | Mar 3, 2006 6:14:22 PM

I think it was radio personality Ken Dashow who suggested that the last shot should be Tony, eating a bowl of Ice Cream in his underwear watching a John Wayne movie...

Posted by: dan Epstein | Mar 4, 2006 8:59:20 AM

Tony offers to buy all ten houses where the Marlboro Inn was. The only glitch is he insists the street to be renamed Soprano Way and wants a large fountain installed on the corner of Grove. He plans to move the whole family there and gate the entrance for security. The community is outraged and when people show up at the Planning Board meeting to protest, Tony's nephew is seen writing down the license plate's of the protesters. Joe Hartnet sees this and confronts the henchman and a fight ensues. Christopher has Joe on the ground choking him when Police Chief Sabah shows up by coincidence and shoots Christopher to save Joe. It's too late, Joe's dead and Christopher is too. When Tony finds out, he goes into a rage, hops into his SUV and heads to Montclair to confront the chief. While speeding on North Mountain Ave, he turns recklessly on Van Vleck St, loses control and smashes into the cars parked on Van Vleck St and ends up on the sidewalk by Nauna's. Employees and customers of Nauna's come out see that Tony has totalled all their cars and beat him to death with Pizza paddles, and soup spoons and whole salami's. The credits begin to roll as the camera focused on the new red brick paving stones on the sidewalk and then fades out.

Posted by: SopranoLover | Mar 4, 2006 4:50:56 PM

Not bad, Lover, not bad. If you can work Steve Plofker and a $300 colander in there somewhere, I think we got a winner.

Posted by: walleroo | Mar 4, 2006 4:55:39 PM

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