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October  11

You Aren't Getting Older, You're Getting Better and Other Myths

Summer of 2005 began by watching the firstborn graduate from high school and ended by shipping him off to college. In between, for various reasons,  there was no dating.

So predictably, like the change of season, I've returned for another round.

While on dating hiatus, and for reasons completely unknown to me, my co-workers began calling me Mrs. Robinson. Just to be clear, I have not dated younger men. But if my recent dating trend continues, I may begin to channel the spirit of Anne Bancroft.

The joke goes...what do a doctor, a construction site manager and a computer systems analyst all have in common?

Nothing... except that on the dating website, they all posted pictures of themselves taken years ago. On one recent date, I didn't even recognize one of them until he walked up and introduced himself. His profile photo depicted a guy with a full head of black hair, when in fact, there was very little left on his head and what remained was a lighter shade of black, something more commonly known as...grey. Before all the follicly challenged get up in arms, let me state for the record I have nothing against bald guys... in fact, I kind of like men who purposely shave their heads. And many handsome men have grey hair -- George Clooney and Anderson Cooper for instance.

What I don't like is false adverstising. And there is a lot of it on the internet. One of my dates admitted he was several years older than his profile stated. When I asked him why he felt the need to fib, he said he didn't think there was much of a market for his age group, and he felt like he had to lie in order to get more online attention.

Let's face it folks, getting old kind of sucks. But if someone lies about their age, what else are they going to lie about?

At least Mrs. Robinson didn't lie about her age.

October 11, 2005 in Don't Ask: Dating in Baristaville | Permalink


"But if someone lies about their age, what else are they going to lie about?"

Good point, Pam. Why start off an encounter with deception? I don't understand that. And why lie about your age, weight, hair, whatever? If your intentions are to meet the people to whom you've lied, don't you think they'd have a clue-by-four when they do meet you in person?

Posted by: Miss Martta | Oct 11, 2005 1:18:14 PM

The old bait-and-switch is common with online dating, and women do it as much as men. With women, the sensitive issue seems to be weight rather than hair loss. The deception sucks for everyone of course but it is also understandable. I guess what us middle-aged folks hope for is that we have lost the youthful obsession with looks and perhaps our counterparts are actually into 'personality'? Yeah, right.

Posted by: Black Irish | Oct 11, 2005 1:22:11 PM

Been there, read the ads, gone home with stories to crack up my fellow singletons. (If we don't laugh, we'll cry, after all.) Some samples of "what they say" and "what they really mean":
distinguished.......one foot in the grave
youthful........see "distinguished"
out-going.......lives with mother, needs to escape house

Posted by: Diane | Oct 11, 2005 1:23:42 PM


I've had that moment of finally meeting someone only to think - then whose picture was that?

One question - is fixing up friends a bad idea, a really bad idea or worth a try?

Posted by: hrhppg | Oct 11, 2005 1:36:38 PM

Just like these ads, hrhppg, fixing up friends is a roll of the dice. Sometimes you win big, other times you go home to the liquor cabinet. ;-)
Almost forgot my favorite ad:
mature......frat boy mentality

Posted by: Diane | Oct 11, 2005 1:51:32 PM

Love that expression Miss Martta! Do you lend?

Posted by: irene | Oct 11, 2005 1:59:05 PM

Lend the expression? No problem...I can't take credit for it's originality but it's all yours!

Posted by: Miss Martta | Oct 11, 2005 3:21:07 PM


National Lampoon did a whole thing about lies in personal ads - P.J. O'Rourke wrote it. One example from NJ:

College-educated single male would like to exchange photographs of himself fully-clothed with women 18-24 whom he has known for at least two years."

Check the whole article at:


Posted by: Conan the Grammarian | Oct 11, 2005 3:54:10 PM

"One question - is fixing up friends a bad idea, a really bad idea or worth a try?"

Like most things, it depends on the people involved.

I've seen it prove a bad idea, & I've seen it lead to a lifelong relationship.

Take the shot, I say, what's to lose beyond possibly one awkward/awful night?

Posted by: crank | Oct 11, 2005 4:04:42 PM

For some its false advertising. For others its marketing.

Posted by: lasermike026 | Oct 11, 2005 4:12:13 PM

athletic and toned = beer belly

I and several of my friends have met men who describe themselves as athletic and toned, maybe they mean other than their beer belly midsections. It isn't even a couple of extra pounds. I want the mirror they are using!!!!

I have nothing against men who are a little chubby, in fact, I like it. All the better to hug. I agree that it is the false advertising that is annoying.

Posted by: happyphan7 | Oct 11, 2005 6:48:09 PM

Hey Pam - how about a little club where we can post our own real life reviews (based on painful personal knowledge) to go with the profiles
- picture = 1990
- a few extra pounds = in each of a dozen different areas
- says he wants to see you again but must have lost your email address (there it is online for the whole world guy)

it would be a service to all local internet daters

Posted by: beentheredatedthat | Oct 12, 2005 10:32:43 PM

I feel your pain, beentheredatedthat--

I think we have been out with the same guy--the one who says he wants to see you but seems to have lost your email address, phone number, etc!!! Well, if he is that careless, he doesn't deserve a nice girl!!! Good luck out there, it is a jungle!

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