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July  19

Two Irishmen Walk Into a Pub...

A real brawl outside of Egan & Sons! The place is authentic after all! From today's Ledger:

A fight between pub patrons ended with the arrest of two Montclair men outside Egan & Sons on Walnut Street, police said yesterday.

At 11:45 p.m. Sunday, words were exchanged between some patrons after one man bumped into another, provoking a fight that ended when management asked two of the men to leave, said Police Chief David Sabagh.

Those two men, police said, later jumped the other two men as they left the restaurant.

The story goes on to say that the only injuries were scrapes and bruises.

Pub jokes, anyone?

July 19, 2005 in Sirens | Permalink


Two irishman walk into the pub and strike up a conversation. "Where are you from?" asks one. "Killarney," says the other. "What a coincidence, so am I! Where did you go to school?" he asks. "St. Swilcan's" is the answer. "Amazing so did I. Graduated in 74." "Really," says the other. "Did you know Patrick O'Hegan?" he asks. "Of course, I did he was one of my best friends."

Just the the phone rings and the landlord picks it up. "No," he says, "nothin' much going on. The Brennan twins are here and they're drunk again."

Posted by: conan the grammarian | Jul 19, 2005 1:06:12 PM

An Irishman suspected his wife of infidelity and he began to follow her around. After a few days his suspicions were confirmed. Coming home from work early, he burst into the bedroom, catching his wife straddling another man. Crazed with grief, he put a revolver to his head.
"Don't laugh," screamed the Irishman, "You're next!"

Posted by: pill poppin mama | Jul 19, 2005 1:22:25 PM

but which one is Karl Rove and which one is John Kerry?

Posted by: Kevin Lee Allen | Jul 19, 2005 3:05:38 PM

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.The Scottsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"

Posted by: Sluggo | Jul 19, 2005 3:46:19 PM

That is hilariou...

Posted by: Frosty | Jul 19, 2005 4:11:56 PM

I have some serious beef, if you will, with the cook at Egan's who refuses to make the "toasties" grilled cheese appetizers, one of very few veg. options available there sans the bacon. I realize cooking is a form of artistic expression and all, but many a gracious chef has kindly omitted the meat for dishes far more grande than pub cheese sandwiches for this 100% Irish girl.

Posted by: Meghan | Jul 19, 2005 8:49:47 PM

The Drinker's Prayer

Our Lager,
Which art in Barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk,
I will be drunk,
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
But forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever,


Posted by: Miss Martta | Jul 19, 2005 9:09:16 PM

Well, at least nobody called their relatives and told them to bring guns.

Posted by: Alison Meyer | Jul 19, 2005 9:17:31 PM

Miss Marta - thanks for the prayer. So nice to see that among all the political tirades (always monaural - never stereo), we can talk about beer and religion as if they were related. Oh my Guiness! They are!


Posted by: conan the grammarian | Jul 20, 2005 10:34:31 AM

LOL, Conan...I like this little ditty, too:

Free beer, free beer,
that's my favorite brand.
If I didn't have to buy it,
it's the best beer in the land!
Warm, cold, funky,
it don't matter to me.
The greatest beer in this whole world
is the one you buy for me!

Posted by: Miss Martta | Jul 20, 2005 10:41:56 AM

A priest in a small Irish village loved the cock and the ten hens he kept in the
hen house behind the church. But one Saturday night the cock went missing!

The priest knew that cock fights happened in the village so he started to
question his parishioners in church the next morning.

During Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?" All the men
stood up.

No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?" All the
women stood up.

No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that
doesn't belong to them?" Half the women stood up.

No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?" All the
nuns, three altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.

Posted by: Anne Prince | Jul 21, 2005 9:38:50 AM

I generally pride myself on being resolutely non-PC. But I didn't even so much as grin at the above anecdote, even if I'm curious if anyone else was foolish enough to guffaw at it.

But if they did, would they have chortled so if the protagonist had been a rabbi? An imam or mullah? A Protestant divine of some sort?

Or better yet, if the anecdote had somehow been feminized so that the protagonist had been a female member of the clergy (you know, as Sinead O'Connor claims to be) who'd dallied with (in general) the distaff members of her congregation?

Nah, didn't think so.

Posted by: cathar | Jul 21, 2005 3:24:22 PM

Two Drunks
> Two men are sitting at the bar at the top of the
> Empire State Building drinking, when the first man
> turns to the other one and says:
> "You know, last week I discovered that if you jump
> from the top of this building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor,
> the wind around the building is so intense that it carries you around
> the building and back into the window."
> The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar,
> but says nothing.
> The second guy says, "What? Are you insane? There's no way in heck that
> could happen!"
> "No, it's true," said the first man, "let me prove it to you."
> He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony and plummets toward the
> street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him
> around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes the
> elevator back up to the bar. He meets the second man, who is astonished.
> "You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but that must've been a one-time
> fluke. That was scientifically impossible!"
> "No, I'll prove it again," says the first man as he jumps. Again, just as
> his body hurtles towards the street, the 10th floor wind gently carries
> him around the building and into the window. He takes the elevator back
> to
> the bar. Once upstairs, he successfully urges his dubious fellow drinker
> to try it.
> "Well, what the heck," the second guy says, "I've seen that it works, so
> I'll try it!" He immediately jumps over the balcony - plunges downward -
> rapidly passes the 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th floors ....his body hits the
> sidewalk with a loud "splat."
> Back upstairs, the bartender who had been silent the whole time turns to
> the first drinker, and shakes his head. He says,
> "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."

Posted by: Miss Martta | Jul 22, 2005 9:37:05 PM

I did laugh out loud at that one.

Posted by: cathar | Jul 23, 2005 10:05:47 AM

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