Go Home

daily dish

July  12

Looks to Us Like Someone Didn't

Please_clean_up_2First, it's mom-to-mom combat over who gets dibs on the pool. Next, it's the competition for noisiest neighbor. Now, we see that one creature's right to defecate ends where another's yard begins. Seems to us that in the interest of neighborly love, somebody should look into the services of our new advertiser, In the Line of Dooty, the local poop picker upper. (The ad, by the way, is on our At Home page, where you can find ads for other home services and realtors, and learn what your neighbor got for their house.)

July 12, 2005 in Civic Virtue | Permalink


How about "Your dog poops, you scoop." Simple? If not then get an indoor cat.

Posted by: PAZinLV | Jul 12, 2005 8:20:47 PM

Doggy Doo?

Doggy Don't!

Posted by: Person of Interest | Jul 12, 2005 8:38:19 PM

As someone who cleans up after her own dog, I too find it hugely irritating to find that someone else has not - and in my yard, no less.

Worse is when you're gardening, intent on your task, and find out that you're kneeling in it. I completely sympathize with the author of the sign.

Posted by: Alison Meyer | Jul 12, 2005 8:53:21 PM

No. Fullerton, between Gordonhurst and Watchung.

I walk it every day and am simply amazed at the frequency of dog crap, big piles, square in the middle of the sidewalk.

What kind of lowlife allows this to happen over and over?

Posted by: montclair_is_crazy | Jul 12, 2005 9:18:06 PM

What kind of lowlife allows this to happen over and over?

The same kind of person who lets their dog poop on or near school property and then does not pick it up. It is a great way to start the day when you have to clean dog poop off your child's shoe right after they step on to the playground!
After watching a neighborhood dog use my newly landscaped garden as a bathroom and then walk away with her owner, I too have placed a similar sign in my yard. I have a dog and must clean up after him, I don't need to clean up after someone elses!

Posted by: caris drury | Jul 13, 2005 7:22:35 AM

This is HUGELY irritating to me too and I speak as a dog owner myself (weimeraner and lab.)

I’ve built my own fenced-in dog run on my property for the day-to-day. Every morning, my furry friends and I are at some park or another for a run (where I ALWAYS clean up which is more than can be said for those using the field for soccer practice, etc.) and every afternoon we’re at the new Watsessing dog park.

Nonetheless, I’m constantly amazed at some folks who simply let their dogs run all over other folks’ property. There’s one particular offender who lives down the road from me on Wildwood with two labs (yellow and chocolate, beautiful dogs) whom I did confront after I watched her let her dogs pee on my brand new plantings on my side of the sidewalk. She simply stood and looked dumbfounded, no apology, nothing. I’d be wondering for weeks why my plantings weren’t taking and here was the offender in front of me. She continued walking up the road, turned at the end of Wildwood and made her way back towards Ridgewood on the other side of the street now. As she got to the corner of Ridgewood and Wildwood, her dog talk a humungous dump on my neighbors lawn, and she walked away, back down Wildwood to her house.

There are some real despicable pet owners out there and she typifies the worst of the lot.

Posted by: Robert Luczak | Jul 13, 2005 7:38:24 AM

I have an idea. Snap a picture of the offending dog owner and send it to the Barista and ask that it be posted. I imagine a good public shaming would go a long way to end the problem.

Maybe the Barista can even create a "Poop Hall of Fame"

Better yet, attach the picture to a sign like the one above and put that out on your lawn. Maybe not the nicest thing to do but I'm sure it would get the offender's attention.

Posted by: State Street Pete | Jul 13, 2005 9:04:42 AM

Robert L; I would have ripped her a new one. Or at least taken the offender's photo and sent it off the PD.

Posted by: Miss Martta | Jul 13, 2005 9:35:52 AM

> Maybe the Barista can even create a "Poop Hall of Fame"

Yeah! "Poopheads on Parade"!

Posted by: Chris | Jul 13, 2005 10:28:13 AM

What do you do, though, when you're walking your dog at night and he has a propensity to do his little two-legged dance in the shadows? Try finding those little turds in the inky blackness among the leaves and acorns behind the forsythia bushes. Many a time I've simple reached down and pretented to be picking something up just in case the neighbors are watching.

Posted by: walleroo | Jul 13, 2005 10:31:44 AM

Somehow I read Walleroo's "dooty" post as a metaphor for voting "independent".

Posted by: Right of Center™ | Jul 13, 2005 10:37:08 AM

One must be sensitive to nuance, ROC. It's all well and good to spout macho anti-poop rhetoric, but chest-thumping is not going to make those little turds, which have a way of disappearing into the fabric of our open society, any easier to find. What's needed is patience, intelligence, resolve, and perhaps a bigger budget for flashlights.

Posted by: walleroo | Jul 13, 2005 10:51:06 AM

Walleroo, for your "problem," a little brainstorming can be illuminating.

Posted by: Chris | Jul 13, 2005 10:53:37 AM

The link didn't work, but the URL works for me:


Posted by: Chris | Jul 13, 2005 10:56:32 AM

Thanks Chris. But will if fit over the military-grade anti-noise helmut?

Posted by: walleroo | Jul 13, 2005 11:01:22 AM

Actually, walleroo, in my simple-minded way I'd say you know where and what the "dooty" is. The world would be a better place if the excrement were thrown in the garbage where it belongs. And since you know where it is and have the ability to clean it up you should. Now, to do this you might have to get your hands dirty. Your might not even do it perfectly or quickly enough for some, but persevere you must. We all know that a public arena free of animal excrement is a worthy and even necessary goal, for public health reasons alone. There will, no doubt, be naysayers who will tell you the "poop" is all part of nature and should be left alone, or that its "root cause" has nothing to do with you or your dog and is therefor not your responsibility. There will even be some that will blame the existence of poo on you because, after all, if you hadn't gotten the dog in the first place there wouldn't be any dooty, would there? I'd venture to say there are even some that will side with the poop and say that it has just as much "worth" in a littered landscape as, say, a cast aside paper voting receipt in a nascent democracy's first election. They will say that your interference does more "harm" than "good". Get your "hand" out of "there" they will say, take your "poop disposing equipment home, imperialist!" There will even be people, Walleroo, who will say "I don't agree with those poop sympathizers, they are extreme" and "perhaps, maybe, in due time, we'll see that poop disposal was a good thing." (all the while standing just ever so slightly to the right of the sympathizers while nodding their heads).

But, deep down, Waleroo, I know and you know what is the right thing to do:

Do do your dooty duty.

Posted by: Right of Center™ | Jul 13, 2005 11:17:34 AM

Can't you spell???!! It's DOODY!

I have the answer. Get dogs (and cats too) to avoid your property entirely. Go to the hardware store and purchase a bag of animal repellant. It is a mixture of strange powdery stuff (natural ingredients I think) that you sprinkle around the boundaries, around trees and favorite bushes and flowers. Does not harm the plants and it works like a charm. Reapply after heavy rain. One bag lasted me a whole season.

It was fun to watch the dogs lower their heads to sniff an area, then immediately recoil. Fun, and very satisfying.

Posted by: Person of Interest | Jul 13, 2005 11:33:30 AM

Walleroo, your heart is in the right place. If you miss a few, alas, it happens. The repeat offenders who don't give a damn are the ones that we need to scorn.

(And if you really want one don't spend $50 for headlamp - you can get a good one at Campmor for less than $20)

Posted by: State Street Pete | Jul 13, 2005 11:35:41 AM

Has anyone ever read "The Giggler Treatment" by Roddy Doyle? It is a short children chapter book that will take you twice as long to read due to laughter. It explains the real reason we step in dog poop - if you lie to a child or treat them poorly you will get the Giggler treatment.
Amazon said the following:
Their [the Gigglers] main occupation in life is to look after children and to punish adults who are mean or unfair to them. And the Treatment? Four words: "Poo on the shoe."
The Gigglers have always been there. Since the first dog did its first poo. Since the first caveman grunted at his first cavechild. He stomped out of the cave, straight onto a huge lump of prehistoric poo.

Basically the book is an excuse to say "poo on the shoe" over and over again. The Giggler actaully buy poop from dogs and put it in the path of grumpy adults.

It is recommended reading in our house.

Posted by: caris drury | Jul 13, 2005 11:36:37 AM

Thank you, State Street Pete, thank you. Would there were more level-headed moderates like you. Fearful extremists among us, though, in a misguided effort to rid the world of every last trace of poop, would have us scouring the bushes for even the smallest morsels; would have poop police on every block persecuting innocent civilians who simply forgot to buy flashlight batteries; would have our Congress pass legislation making it a crime to even think about not picking up those little steaming piles, no matter what the cost to our civil liberties.

If that happens, the dogs will have won.

Posted by: walleroo | Jul 13, 2005 11:56:48 AM

If the headlamp and the anti-noise headphones are incompatible -- and who really thought living in the suburbs would require so much military gear anyway? -- you might consider not even trying to narrow down the exact location of the elusive, ah, Night Turd. Just bring along a shovel and dig out a few square feet of earth from the approximate area (you're sure to catch the item in one shovelful or another). I'm sure your neighbor will appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Another option: Walk your dog in a park and blame it on the geese.

Posted by: Chris | Jul 13, 2005 11:59:29 AM

Well walleroo don't count me among them...

But as to "What's needed is patience, intelligence, resolve, and perhaps a bigger budget for flashlights." I am sure there are those who believe that. But, really, all it takes is rolling up you sleve, the "resolve" to get at least some of the doo right away, and the ability to withstand a dirty hand. Simple really.

Posted by: Right of Center™ | Jul 13, 2005 12:01:01 PM

Just go to the hardware store, please.

Posted by: Person of Interest | Jul 13, 2005 12:10:58 PM

Glad (in a way) it's not just me down here in the heart of Bloomfield who has to deal with neighbors who allow their dogs to poo anywhere. I'm putting animal repellant on my shopping list. As for the Giggler Treatment, both my husband and daughter got the full treatment at Brookdale Park this past weekend (both had been misbehaving I guess...

Posted by: JoliGee | Jul 13, 2005 1:29:11 PM

Haven't seen so much scatalogical preoccupation since Principal Cornholt's letter to the graduates in "National Lampoon's 1964 High School Yearbook." At least that letter used proper grammar and was spelled correctly.

Posted by: conan the excrementarian | Jul 13, 2005 3:26:02 PM

Click & Jump to our INSIDE PAGES:

· In Case You Don't Look at Our Announcement Box
· Window Painting
· Flatulent Friar
· Ballyowen -- The Best $140 a NJ Golfer Can Spend
· Corzine Budget Gets MSU Calling For Action
· Open Space Call For Action
· Closed For Renovations?
· Thrill Seekers
· Heroic Dudes
· Making Montclair's History Demo-Proof

May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004

A Friend Writes
April Fool's!
Bada Bing
Barista Does the Math
Barista's Sunday Poll
Betty Says
Brand New
Civic Virtue
Comings and Goings
Culture Club
Current Affairs
Cute as Hell
Don't Ask: Dating in Baristaville
Flu Shot Central
Food and Drink
From the Crazy Mixed-Up Files of Raymmmondo
Funniest Home Videos
Good Reads by Neil Baldwin
Growing pains
Help Your Barista!
In Your Dreams
Intersections We Hate
Karma Violation
Lights! Camera! Craft service!
Lights, Camera..... Roll Tape
Major Dudes
Marlboro Inn
Movie Mojo
Only in Montclair
Our Favorite Diversions
Paranoia Beat
Parties We Crashed
Party With Baristanet
Photo of the Week
Pop Culture
Postcards from the EB
Really Freaking Weird
Scooped by Phil Read, Again
Scot's Photo Journal
Seasonal Decorating Violation
Seen around town
Seen in Cyberspace
Shopping With Barista
Songs We Can't Get Out of Our Head
Suburban Archeologist
The Daily Chat
The Sunday Barista Poll
The View from Her Pickup
Those Crazy Kids
Time Capsule
We All Bow to Java
We Ask Random Strangers
Where For Art Thou?
Win Stuff
Yard Sale Treasure Map