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July   1

Baristas Needed

What does it take to be a good barista?

We are looking for upbeat, reliable individuals, able to multi-task; must be open to learning about...

For the details, see Classifieds.

July 1, 2005 in Java | Permalink


I can multitask, but I'm not reliable, and certainly not upbeat.

Posted by: walleroo | Jul 1, 2005 10:24:53 AM

"must be open to learning about premium coffee, espresso and loose-leaf tea."

LOL...this line just cracked me up!!!

I can just see someone applying for a job at a coffee house saying something like, "Well, I'll wait on people and serve baked goods but I am NOT at all open to learning about premium coffee, espresso and loose-leaf tea!" Nosireebob!

Posted by: Miss Martta | Jul 1, 2005 10:36:38 AM

Heaven forfend that they just might want a job.

I remember as a young man in college I applied to a "chain" restaurant. I was asked to state why I wanted to "join the Denny's family?"

To play the bloody rent you wanker!

Posted by: Right of Center™ | Jul 1, 2005 10:41:06 AM

oh..p.s.. I didn't get the job.

Posted by: Right of Center™ | Jul 1, 2005 10:41:52 AM

Anyone have a good story about getting FIRED from a job?

I worked as a waitress during HS at one of those ice cream places famous for the gigantic-eat-it-till-you-throw up type sundaes. The restaurant was managed by a golf pro who knew NOTHING about running an eating establishment. He encouraged us to try and 'get air' into the scoop of ice cream, thereby furthering their profit margin, among other scuzzy things.

Oh, and he was one of those short-guys-who-resent tall gals type of men too.
(I am 5'10")

One day I had had enough... I told him he knew nothing about running a restaurant and he was a cheat. He said you're fired, and I and threw down my apron in the middle of the place and walked out with a huge smile on my face.

It went out of business three months later...

Posted by: Pam | Jul 1, 2005 12:02:48 PM

I began a job on Halloween day 1983 and was laid off exactly one year later, so I went in dressed up as an executioner -- black clothes, black pointed hood with eyeholes, and my grandpappy's big ole wood chopper -- and informed all my soon-to-be-ex-coworkers that I was getting the ax that day. A friend later told me that my boss had nervously asked (axed?) her, "Is that thing real?"

I'm sure you can't do that kind of thing anymore without getting swiftly escorted out the door!

Posted by: Chris | Jul 1, 2005 1:16:36 PM

Pam, you asked, and I usually have the checkered past to fulfill.

I was in fact fired from a magazine after it in fact had actually closed. Can you beat that? Can anyone?

I worked for an advertising magazine called ADS, and I'd known the end had come when I'd arrived early with my keys and met the owner's hatchetman from Denver waiting in the hall for someone to open up. First thing once inside, he grabs the yellow pages and starts calling locksmiths. Hmmmm....

So later in the day, we're just hanging round hoping to get word of what happened to our paychecks, due the very next day. And the publisher, who is in fact the owner's older brother installed there by him, is sulking in his office with non-magazine cronies, including one wimp who is nonetheless married to a bona fide porn queen.

And the phone rings and I answer, "Formerly ADS magazine," and the publisher (perhaps a bit in his cups after a long lunch with said thug associates) roars out of his office and screams, "Get out, get your ass out of here, you're fired!." He also told the guy married to the "actress" to make sure I went.

I asked him how he could fire me when we'd all already been fired, but he was in such a choleric rage (and had the previous week threatened a 75-year-old woman who was owed a check for temp work), I simply grabbed the office unabridged Webster's (the secret of my subsequent success) and left. Then, downstairs, his flunky handed me a card, with his wife's private number on it. "In case you need some real cheering up." he told me.

No, too, none of us ever got the pay we were owed, in my case for the previous 2 weeks plus 2 weeks vacation. This was a place where, when we did receive checks, we were always told on those Fridays not to cash them until the following Tuesday. (I, in turn, would call a then-ladyfriend at Chase, where the payroll account was; she'd do some fast calling of her own and call me back, usually saying "Okay, there's enough money for your check if you want to come in right now to cash it, but my boss says he can't guarantee it'll still be here an hour later, so come ASAP."

Oh, there are many tales I could tell about this magazine. The founder (eventually forced out by the bozos who closed it) used to almost daily tell the ME to fire me. And Jack Smith (his real name) would reply, "I won't do it, Larry, I think he's doing a great job. So if you want him fired, go tell him yourself." And of course he never did.

Then, upping the ante, he sent a memo to Denver asking that the entire staff save himself should be fired the following Friday. In reply, because Denver already had a mole on-staff(not me, Pam, honest), they fired him that Friday. This is the same guy who was once closing the office on a Friday months earlier for an employee party at his house in the Hamptons, and he came to me and said he didn't see my name on the sign-up sheet.

"That's because I'm not going," I said.

"But I'm having this party to dispel all the office tension," he screamed.

"I'm already loose enough,Larry," I said. "Besides, the only way I'd ever set foot in your house would be to attend your wake, and even that would only be by way of making sure."

Believe me, too, there are at least 10 other stories I could tell about these 3 wasted years in my life.

But more importantly, Pam, (MUCH more so), HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Posted by: cathar | Jul 1, 2005 5:18:31 PM

"the only way I'd ever set foot in your house would be to attend your wake, and even that would only be by way of making sure."

Now THAT was a good laugh. I can't wait to steal that one!

Posted by: Right of Center™ | Jul 1, 2005 5:44:34 PM

(But more importantly, Pam, (MUCH more so), HAPPY BIRTHDAY!)

Thanks cathar!

Posted by: Pam | Jul 3, 2005 3:59:15 PM

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