June 16
...serving up your daily dish.
Last week I almost got lucky! Twice!
Some co-workers had informed me that Joe Smith, who works in another department, has the hots for me. Now, I barely know this guy, except to say it looks like he’s never missed a meal in his life.
But hey, I’m not real picky these days.
So I’ve got a mylar balloon on my desk, which is for a friend of mine who just became a new dad. Mr. Hot Stuff ambles over and gestures to the balloon and asks me if it’s my birthday. I glance up at him and point to “New Baby!” prominently plastered across the front of it. Oh! he says brightly, did you just have a baby? I stare at him - Yeah, sixteen years ago. Then he says, Well my wife and I had one just last month! WHAT??!!!!!
The next day I’m out in the front yard and my 68-year-old gardener shows up. He’s from the old country and likes to chat.
--So, Miss, hows you love life??
I tell him, not so good lately.
--What? You a beeyootiful ladee- You wanna have lunch??
I try not to stare at the hair sprouting from his ears, and politely decline murmuring something about not dating people who work for me.
Like I said, I almost got lucky.
June 16, 2005 in Don't Ask: Dating in Baristaville | Permalink
God Bless You, dear. I feel your pain. The words "GOON MAGNET" are evidently tattooed on my forehead - however, only goons seem to be able to read the message. It's some kind of secret voodoo.
I can't tell you how many scary men have approached me for dating purposes, causing me to wonder if I attracted them for some valid reason.
After what felt like an eternity, I finally found a dude who is not a goon, and seems to be willing to put up with my nonsense for the long haul. Keep the faith, there is a prince for you out there amongst the frogs. :)
Posted by: Mujer En Fuego | Jun 16, 2005 2:57:45 PM
Pam, are you sure your coworkers weren't goofin' on ya by telling you that?
Posted by: Chris | Jun 16, 2005 3:40:00 PM
There are single guys in Montclair who are in shape, have a job, in their 40's and are not creepy. I one of them. You just have to be creative in finding us....
Posted by: Capable | Jun 16, 2005 4:01:48 PM
Well, there you go. Pam, Capable. Capable, Pam. Here are the car keys. Just get her back by midnight.
Posted by: walleroo | Jun 16, 2005 4:44:36 PM
Hey, Pam, look at the bright side. You got to write a great story and tell all of us. It's gotta put a smile on your lovely face. Whether you are ugly or beautiful, people can see a good thing when they look at it!
Posted by: Barbara | Jun 16, 2005 5:15:47 PM
Joe Smith may still have had the hots for you, no matter his wife. I mean, it doesn't sound as if he's been sporting a band on his finger or you'd have noticed, right?
As for "Capable, when he wrote "I one of them," just hope he simply forgot to put in the verb. Not (unless you're seeking what Cole Porter described as a "primitive man") that he speaks like Tarzan.
Posted by: cathar | Jun 16, 2005 5:46:53 PM
(Pam, are you sure your coworkers weren't goofin' on ya by telling you that?)
Chris- trust me on this one...no.
And Capable, you sounded pretty good up until the 'just get creative' line- reminded me of something my six grade art teacher would say...
Posted by: Pam | Jun 16, 2005 9:31:52 PM
"...I try not to stare at the hair sprouting from his ears..."
Oh my GOD what a laugh that gave me!
And here I thought it was only me! Old Ladies LOVE me for their sons, then there are (or seem to be only) perverts and old men who also can't live without me. Good to know I'm not alone!
Get a cat (or two) or a dog...there's no comparison (having been married before I can speak from experience!)
Posted by: Karen | Jun 16, 2005 11:16:34 PM
Pam, the next installment is clear. You've got to meet up with Capable. I'm sure cathar would volunteer to chaparone, if you feel you need one. And I could come along with my camera!
Posted by: walleroo | Jun 17, 2005 1:00:25 AM
Pam, let's get together and write the "I almost got lucky" book of the year. I know it will be a best-seller. I have some interesting stories to tell having become the queen of internet-dating. We can also start a group called "how to be creative and find the right single guys in Montclair". What do you think? Who wants to join?
Posted by: Kareen | Jun 17, 2005 5:32:51 AM
Pam, let's get together and write the "I almost got lucky" book of the year. I know it will be a best-seller. I have some interesting stories to tell having become the queen of internet-dating. We can also start a group called "how to be creative and find the right single guys in Montclair". What do you think? Who wants to join?
Posted by: Kareen | Jun 17, 2005 5:32:51 AM