April 1
...serving up your daily dish.
We thought we were on top of things when we reported about eminent domain problems concerning Bloomfield's redevelopment plan for downtown. What we hadn't anticipated was another movement afoot in Glen Ridge to take over certain streets in Bloomfield through the use of eminent domain and some cleverly placed gas street lights.
The movement is a result of many Glen Ridge residents being sick and tired of having to leave the Ridge every time they want a slice of pizza or a cappuccino. "For Pete's sake, we don't have anything -- no sushi, no Starbucks, heck at this point, I'd settle for a Dunkin Donuts," says one desperate housewife on Ridgewood Avenue who requested anonymity. "I think Bloomfield can spare a few blocks." Glen Ridge, which is currently three miles long and just six blocks wide, has long endured jokes about its small status. "It's gotten so bad, our town slogan is 'Glen Ridge: Blink And You'll Miss It,' " says Mayor Carl Bergmanson. "We think placing a few more gas-fed street lamps along the Bloomfield border will give us the bragging rights we need. We especially have our eyes on the streets near Gencarelli's Bakery -- you gotta love their cannolis." In a retaliatory move, Bloomfield, after acquiring 12 Miles West, now has managed to spirit the Gas Lamp Players away from Glen Ridge.
April 1, 2005 in April Fool's! | Permalink
News Flash!!!
Right of Center, infamous Barista poster and all-around-agitator, has suffered an accident at his keyboard and fallen into a permanent vegetative state.
Mr. ROC's living will leaves several directives for the Baristaville community, as follows:
First, Mr. ROC insists that members of the Montclair Watercooler perform a full cost-benefit analysis to decide whether or not he shall have life support removed. (Note - Due to Cooler guidelines, please place these in the FILES section only).
Second, Mr. ROC would like the words "tiny url" to be tattooed on his corpse before his burial.
Third, in the event that the Cooleristas remove life support, Mr. ROC would like a seperate funeral for each and every one of his online screennames.
Posted by: butchcjg | Apr 1, 2005 1:53:20 PM
Butch
LOL... even ROC would have to laugh
uh..yeah S, I believe she is joking...
Posted by: pam | Apr 1, 2005 2:15:17 PM
No S. it's a real deal!!
I'm working on my cost-benefit analysis now...will be interested in seeing others!
Posted by: butchcjg | Apr 1, 2005 2:20:59 PM
